Dance Lessons From Hell
by Crazi Girl
Summary: Chi-Chi kicks Goku out of the house. Then to make matters worse Master Roshi makes him go square dancing! Now the ony way for Chi-Chi to save them is to have a mud wrestling contest with a 600 pound woman! No more chapters till I get reviews.
1. Default Chapter

CG: Whas' up, Peps? This is my first DBZ fic. So let me know what you tinks.  
  
Sony: Yeah, flame her to kingdom come if that's how you feel!  
  
CG: Dumb cat. Warning: Not for the normal types! Insanity wears off on others!  
  
BeeBop: And CG doesn't own DBZ. So screw anyone reading these stories looking for someone to sue!   
  
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Dance Lessons From Hell  
  
Goku raced from the house as Chi-Chi threw her last plate at him. He turned around, when he saw the plate hit the ground a few feet away from him. "Now, Chi-Chi, calm down honey! It's not that big of a deal!" Goku pleads.  
  
WHAM!  
  
Goku is hit in the face by a couch. "Big deal that, Goku! Get out! Now!" Chi-Chi screams enraged. Goku stands up dizzily. "But, honey, I am out! See. I'm standing out in the yard." "Well get off the my meeping property!" Chi-Chi then slams the door without waiting for a response.   
  
Goku gets in their car, and then drives to Master Roshi's house. Sitting outside was Master Roshi, Krillin, Piccallo, and Vegeta. Goku gets out of the car depressed, and sits next to Krillin. "What's wrong, Goku?" Krillin asked. "Chi-Chi kicked me out because I let Gohan go on a date." Every winced. Chi-Chi liked the idea of Gohan dating even less than she did him fighting.  
  
Vegeta just snorted, and said, "What do women know. You should put her in her place." Bulma snuck up behind him, and grabbed him by his ear. "Like you put me in my place? Well, if that's what you think of women, then you can just find some other place to stay, too!" Bulma then release Vegeta and stormed off. Vegeta sat in shock. Master Roshi began laughing his head off. "What you young fellows need is to get away from all of your worries. You need to get out there, and have your self a good time. You need to…" Every one looks at him expectantly. "GO SQUARE DANCING!" Everyone does an anime fall. "Square dancing!?!," everyone say's clearly shocked by the idea. "Yep. It's great exercise! It's fun! And there's some really hot chics who do it! Let's go!" Master Roshi then forces everyone, including Piccallo, and Krillin into Goku's car.  
  
He jumps into the driver's seat, and the then takes them all to a little shack out in the woods. Hill-billy music is coming from it, and they could hear people hollering. Krillin looks at Piccallo, and asked him, "How in the world did we get dragged into this?" "I have no idea. But I think I would rather die than go in there!," Piccallo answered.  
  
Master Roshi jumps out with a huge grin. "Let's go boys! It's party time!" He then drags them all in. Once inside they find that everyone is dressed in hill-billy style clothes. Some women who were standing against the wall, immediately surround them. "Oh my God! We're surrounded!," Vegeta said nervously. A blonde hair woman approached Piccallo. She felt of his arm. "You got some nice arms there. Lets dance!" She then grabbed him, and jerked him into the crowd. Piccallo looked back at them with a look of horror on his face, before he was swallowed into the crowd. A woman with huge muscles sauntered up to Krillin. "Ah, Goku…" Krillin said nervously. The woman, who had dark brown hair in pig tails said, "Your kind-of cute. I always did like a bald man." She then picks up Krillin, tosses him over her shoulder, and carries him off into the crowd. Vegeta, and Goku look at each other. "We're the only two left!," Vegeta declares. As soon as he says this an arm reaches out, and jerks him into the crowd. Goku hears a scream of horror from of Vegeta, and decides to make a run for it. He turns around when he feels the ground begins to shake. A huge shadow covers Goku, and dims the part of the room where he's standing considerably. A very deep voice says, "Hi there, big man. How would you like to dance wit a real woman?" Goku slowly turns around. He looks up. And up. And up. At first the only thing he can see is a belly. A HUGE belly! Looking up farther he sees a big neck, and finally a face. The woman had red hair, and big ears. She grins at him, and Goku sees she has no teeth. He swallows hard, and says, "Well, my wife was supposed to be meeting me any moment now. So I better wait for her." "Well while your waiting you can dance wit me!" The woman grabs Goku's hand, and drags him onto the dance floor.  
  
She swings him back and forth jabbering the whole time. "My name is Bertha. What's yours? You look like a Billy-Bob. Or may-be Big George." Goku is slammed into other couples repeatedly, and doesn't hear a thing Bertha says. "Well, if you ever decide to get divorced I'm da woman for you!" She then begins to spend around, and around. Goku feels his feet leaving the ground, and hangs on for dear life. "WWWWHHHHHEEEEEE! ISN'T THIS FUN, BIG GEORGE?," Bertha screams. Goku manages to scream, "Master Roshi! HEEEELLLLLPPPPPP!" Goku's cheeks then begin to flap as Bertha spins even faster. "WHAT BIG GEORGE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Goku's hands slip from Bertha's and he goes flying across the room. He hit's the wall, as other couples dive out of his way, and goes flying through it.   
  
Chi-Chi and Bulma pull up in Bulma's car just in time to see Goku's flying attempt. Bulma starts laughing her head off. Chi-Chi on the other hand dives out of the car to get to her man! "Goku, are you OK?," Chi-Chi asks while cradling Goku's head in her lap. Goku looks up dazed. Little Bertha's with wings are seen flying around his head. Bertha then runs out looking for Goku. She sees Chi-Chi with him, and goes nuts. "You get your hands off of Big George! He's my man!" Chi-Chi looks up with flames shooting out of her eyes, and growls, "Your man?" "Yeah! My man!" Chi-Chi laughs a not so friendly laugh, and says, "I have you know this man is my husband!" Bertha just puts her hands on her hips, and glares at Chi-Chi. "Well there's only one way to settle this. We're gonna have our selves a mud wrestlin contes!  
  
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CG: Well, thas all da insanity for this chapter. Come back next time for more! Much love for any one who will review. If you don't review…don't let me find out it was you who didn't! Just picking. 


	2. The Contest DUM, DUM, DDDDUUUUMMMM!

CG: Sup? Hope you likes this story.   
  
BeeBop: I don't. BERTHA SCARES ME!  
  
Sony: Me too!   
  
CG: Well get over it, you freaking little wimps! Cause here's the second chapter!  
  
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Dance Lessons From Hell  
  
Chapter 2: The Contest. DUM, DUM, DDDDDDUUUUUUUUMMMMMM!  
  
Chi-Chi waded into the mud, and it came up to her ankles. "This is going to be SSSOOOO easy!" Chi-Chi crowed. Bertha waded in next. The mud rose till it was over Chi-Chi's head.  
  
Chi-Chi swam to the surface angry as a hornet. "Haven't you ever heard of Slim-Fast!" She screeched. Bertha laughed. "Big George sure didn't have a problem with me!"   
  
Chi-Chi went bizerk. She grabbed Bertha by her feet, and began swinging her round, and round. She was about to let go, when her foot slipped in the mud. Bertha fell on top of her with a crash. Chi-Chi let out a muffled scream as everyone heard, "EEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"   
  
"MY GOD! That's the biggest fart I've ever heard!" Krillin screamed. Suddenly the smell hit everyone, and they all fell over gagging. Bertha began laughing her head off. "Looks like I'm da whenner!" Goku screams. (CG: Guy screams like girl scream) He takes off running. Bertha jumps up to go after him, when a hand reaches out of the mud, and grabs her by her hair.   
  
Chi-Chi slowly rises from the mud. Her face is bright red, and there are flames shooting from her eyes. She also has two horns coming from her head, and little wisps of smoke are curling out of her nostrils. "No one hits on my man, and lives!" Chi-Chi growls.   
  
She then picks all 600 pounds of Bertha, and body slams her. Mud goes flying everywhere, and when everyone is finally able to see again, they see Chi-Chi strangling Bertha. She's also biting and kicking like a cat. Bertha screams, and then grabs Chi-Chi by the back of the neck. She tosses her away, like Chi-Chi didn't way a pound. Chi-Chi hit a tree, and slid to the ground. She slowly got up, and turned around. "You wanta see wrestling, well I'll SHOW you wrestling!"   
  
She then jumps into the air, and kicks Bertha in the face. She then tries to get Bertha in a head lock, but Bertha's neck was to big! So she grabbed Bertha's leg, and twisted it back. Hard.  
  
Bertha begins squelling like a pig, and finally screams uncle. Chi-Chi lets her go, and then races off to find Goku, as Master Roshi yells, "And the winner is Chi-Chi!" Chi-Chi stops, and turns around. She then points a finger at Master Roshi. "Your Next!" Master Roshi laughs nervously as Chi-Chi races off again. Everyone sighs thinking they can go home. Then Vegeta screams.  
  
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CG: (Sits in the woods with a guitar, dressed like a hippie) This is the end! The end, my friend!  
  
Sony: @0@ Don't listen to that nerd! She's going to do another chapter where Bulma, and Android 16 get into a mud wrestling contest!   
  
BeeBop: Poor Piccallo's out of luck since he isn't married.  
  
Picallo: WHAT!?! (Runs off to find a wife.)  
  
CG: Dumb cat ruining my fun! Well, I'll see you next chapter! ^-^ 


End file.
